We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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