Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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