dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
