The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
