I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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