i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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