he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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