accomplished twins. life is a go
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
