tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sext me about skeletons
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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