will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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