I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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