its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
