She announced her abortion via fbk
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
