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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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