I wish I could teleport
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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