Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
