see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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