I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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