Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize