My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
