Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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