Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
