She's JV to your varsity
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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