i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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