At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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