Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
