I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
