He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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