So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
