i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
