There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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