But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
