Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
