Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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