shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
