how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
