Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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