i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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