So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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