I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize