Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
