I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
