She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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