I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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