just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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