just tell him i said nine months
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
