i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
