oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He better not be in your backpack
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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