Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
