Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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