Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
