just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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