people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i think im in europe. pls send help
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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