i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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