allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize