woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
