I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
