Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
