So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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